Sweet Tweets

Friday, February 01, 2008

Unintentional Cruelty

While sitting in the waiting room of an out-patient surgical center you encounter many different kinds of people. My favorite type is the blissfully unaware. They are the ones that keep their cell phone ringer (something like, oh, Rihanna’s delightful tune Umbrella) on super-sonic high, talk at full volume to whomever happens to call, and torture those poor souls that haven’t been lucky enough to get taken back to pre-op yet. What is their method of cruel and unusual?

Step 1: Enter a room of fasting, hunger-crazed, anxiety-riddled surgical patients about to go under the knife with a fragrant cup of steaming, flavored coffee.

Step 2: After settling into a seat, pull a bag of Chik-Fil-A breakfast goodies.

Step 3: Enjoy your aromatic breakfast of chicken biscuits and hash browns slowly and thoroughly, making sure to smack every so often to display your immense pleasure.

Step 4: Lick your fingers and noisily wrap up the leftovers of your breakfast as you are too full to completely finish it.

Step 5: Keep bag of half-eaten food on the seat next to you so that its wonderful aroma can be enjoyed by all for the next several hours.

Step 6: Maintain a constant vigilance and awareness of your personal pepper spray as you are surely within seconds of being brutally attacked.

2 Remarks:

Jerry said...

These are the people that make me think violent thoughts. Unfortunately, they are increasing in population. I don't know how if you've ever seen them drive.

Melissa Merkel said...

haha!