Sweet Tweets

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Hazard signs

I'm convinced as of 11:04 am this morning that it might be a good idea for me to be covered in bright yellow hazard signs.

Let's see, where to start? Why might people want to keep a safe distance from me to ensure their own safety?

Maybe it was picking up the hot bundt pan with my bare hands last night. Note to self, just because a metal object that has spent the last hour in a 400 degree oven has now been sitting on the counter for 4.8 seconds does not mean it is now magically cool to the touch.

Going to the kitchen first thing this morning and stepping right into a pool of water that has leaked from my overloaded dishwasher. It was a good thing I wasn't operating the toaster oven. On a side note: doesn't it seem like all bathtub electrocutions that occur in movies feature a toaster as the deadly weapon? Now, my question is always, why in the world is there a toaster available in the master bath? Maybe it's a new housing trend. **Available now!!! All new custom homes will come with the brand-new toaster option in your luxurious bathroom!!! Perfect for an English muffin, freshly toasted while you bathe!** I digress.

Maybe it is the power going out while I was showering at 6:30 this morning. Kids, you don't know fun until you have shampoo in your eyes, a pitch black apartment and an overactive imagination that has a cache of horror movies to call upon in moments like this. I'm lucky the power was out, or I would have been fearful of the toaster that is a mere 50 feet away.

Possibly it is when I'm sitting in my office and as I go to answer the phone I manage to slam it in my temple. Why I'm answering the phone with such brute force is beyond me, but it rendered me unable to answer coherently. Then again, that probably isn't all that unusual either.

So, beware my friends. Get to close and you might get pulled into the vortex. There are hazard signs posted for your safety.

1 Remarks:

Shannon said...

HA! Thanks for the laugh Meliss! :)